I just went on this amazing adventure called the World Race. I laughed, cried, and loved probably more than I have in any other year of my life. I missed home. I missed our hosts. I was scared a lot, not because my safety was at risk but because it was threatening my comfort and what I knew. I learned more than I thought possible in that span of time. I made closer friends than I realized I was able to make. This year turned my life upside down in a lot of ways.
Some people are asking me what I’m doing now that the World Race is over. They ask if I’m going back to my church. Back to my job. Back to what I was doing before. In some ways, I suppose at least some of them are trying to figure out if I’m still the person they were used to before I left. The answer is no. I’m not the same. After what I have seen and felt and done, I realize that to go back to life the way it was before would probably wreck me. And not in a good way. That’s not to say I won’t ever be employed at the same place again. That’s not to say I’m ditching my old friends for my World Race friends. That’s not to say I’ve left Nova Scotia for good and will never come back. In fact, I actually plan to go back home to Canada and plant myself there for a while, eventually. That’s another story though. We’re here to talk about the next step. One thing at a time, right?
One thing I realized this year is that I can’t do or fix everything. Now you’re probably thinking “Well, duh! No one can do it all!” I know, but I’m a hopeless dreamer. If I had my way, by the time I die there would be no homelessness, violence, abuse, plastic in the ocean, endangered species, incurable diseases or anything like that left on earth. However. I’m only one person, and I would always get so caught up in everything I can’t change that I got stuck. Like, super stuck. Then Botswana happened.
It was a ‘loading event’ for a youth conference. You know, get people hyped and ready for the event, get them signed up. Stuff like that. I was sitting on the floor during worship and the Lord asked me a question. “What if I didn’t give you all of those passions and interests for you?”
“What?” That one got my attention. How could my passions and interests, all those dreams, be for someone else?
“Well,” He said, “What if you’re interested in so many things so you can better equip others to do something about it?”
“…”
I really didn’t know what to say to that at first. I’ve been asking for years which of those things I was supposed to do, and now I’m supposed to let other people do all of it? Not only that, I’m supposed to help them get started and then sit back and watch? But my indignation was short lived. I started to see all the little places in my life, the moments that all tied together, the subtle underlying passions that suddenly burst forth into the spotlight. It was like that moment in a TV show when something happens and you’re just like “Whaaat?! Now episode three makes so much sense! That part in episode nine? That’s why it turned out the way it did!” That was the moment the blinders came off in that area of my life.
He told me that I would have a season of training first, but since that day my passion for discipleship has been growing all the time. I find it hard to articulate the way I feel about it in an understandable way, even for myself in my own heart. I simply know God has placed a desire in my heart to train up leaders in businesses, homes, and schools that are strong, confident and have a heart to see the world restored. To do that, though, I need training myself. Despite my experiences and what I’ve learned up to this point, to try and lead others at this point would be a bit like the blind leading the blind. I need to strengthen myself first before I go trying to raise others up.
So, it is with a fair bit of excitement and anticipation that I can tell you that I’m going to CGA (Center for Global Action). It’s a discipleship and leadership program in Gainesville Georgia, run by the same organization that runs the World Race (Adventures in Missions). Their premise is “Know yourself, Lead yourself, Lead others.” I believe it is the next step that is going to prepare me for what the Lord has. It’s probably going to wreck me. In a good way. The thing about growth is that it’s never comfortable. I’m going to have to uproot some things that are deeply planted in my heart. I’ll have to plant some things that I don’t want to plant, because they’ll be too hard to nurture and bring to the point where I see fruit from them, where I see the results of my effort. I don’t really want to go to CGA. But I am very much looking forward to going through CGA. When you go to something that seems hard, it can feel like you’re at the front gates of a mighty fortress. But when you go through it, you are on the other side of those same gates. You are eating the fruit from the palace courtyard, and you interact with people differently depending on what side of that wall you’re living on.
So, my friends, here’s to walls. Here’s to all the fortresses that will be conquered in 2020. Here’s to the fruit we will see, the results of all our persistence and hard work. And here’s to the Lord who brings us through it all.
I move in for CGA on January 17th. If you would like to support me, there are a couple ways to do so.
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Prayer. Please be praying for a healthy and strong community I can surround myself with, financial needs to be met, determination to follow through with this program to the best of my ability, and for me to remember where my strength comes from when it gets hard.
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Financially. If you’re in the US, you can use the Donate button at the top of this page. If you’re from Canada, please either; make checks payable to CCFCC and mail to: 1807 St Joseph Blvd, Unit 307, Orleans. ON, K1C 7C6, Canada and include a note with your name and address, my name and my program (CGA); or give using e-transfer, send to [email protected] and follow up with a separate email with your name and address, my name and my program (CGA). Adventures in Missions is in cooperative partnership with Community Christian Fellowship Church of Canada (CCFCC) to train and mobilize Christ’s followers to establish the Kingdom of God through discipleship and charitable service around the world. Have questions or need help? Email [email protected] or call 613-834-8187 ext 27.
